NCCS 3: Sylvania 300

For Round 2 of the Chase for the Cartoon Cup, the NASCAR Cartoon Cup Series returns to northern New England, to New Hampshire Motor Speedway, otherwise known as The Magic Mile. Based in Loudon, New Hampshire, this track is a 1.058-mile oval. The turns are banked at 12 degrees, and the straights are banked at 1 degree.

This race, the Sylvania 300, will be run over 300 laps, for a total distance of 317.4 miles.

Starting grid;

(* - denotes Chase contender)

1. Beavis* (#27)
2. Bender* (#30)
3. Frylock* (#15)
4. Hoagie P. Gilligan* (#2)
5. Eddy* (#88)
6. Tommy Pickles* [R] (#22)
7. Nigel Uno* (#1)
8. Danny Phantom* (#16)
9. Homer Simpson* (#83)
10. Abigail Lincoln* (#5)
11. Edd* (#48)
12. Rainbow Dash* (#20)
13. Ahsoka Tano* (#42)
14. Grim* (#40)
15. Groundskeeper Willie* (#14)
16. Wallabee Beatles* [R] (#4)
17. Ed (#27)
18. Peter Griffin (#23)
19. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3)
20. Kenny McCormick (#41)
21. Phineas Flynn (#43)
22. Applejack (#18)
23. Timmy Turner (#17)
24. Ben Tennyson (#10)
25. Ferb Fletcher (#9)
26. Twilight Sparkle (#11)
27. Dudley Puppy (#99)
28. Master Shake (#55)
29. Daria Morgendorffer (#31)
30. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)
31. William Murderface (#47)
32. Fry [R] (#26)
33. Stan Smith (#7)
34. The Warden (#32)
35. Francine Smith (#36)
36. Hank Hill (#98)
37. Meatwad (#66)
38. Early Cuyler (#77)
39. Katara (#38)
40. Aang (#34)
41. Kim Possible (#51)
42. Jake Long (#13)
43. Sokka (#35)

Beavis and Bender both spin their tires at the waving of the green flag; Frylock and Hoagie Gilligan both swing around the two of them, and Hoagie takes the lead while Frylock takes 2nd. At the same time, everyone else gets held up behind Beavis and Bender, allowing both Hoagie and Frylock to build up their gap on the rest of the pack.

By lap 8, Tommy Pickles has made it up to 3rd place.

Tommy: Man, how in the hell did Beavis and Butt-Head get into the Chase? Neither of those losers deserve to be racing for a championship!

Dil: Well then, you shouldn't have a problem dealing with either of them, now should you, T?

Tommy: I never said I would...

Meanwhile, on lap 19, Eddy falls out of the top 5.

By lap 30, Tommy has caught right up to Frylock and Hoagie Gilligan. He passes right by Frylock on lap 38, and soon afterward tries to do the same with his teammate Hoagie...

Hoagie: You're not getting' past me that easily, friend!

But Hoagie cuts in front of him before he can past, holding Tommy off for the time being.

Tommy: Ah, well, I should've expected less from my teammate. (shrug)

Dil: You should still be able to take him though, T...!

Edd makes it up into the top 5 on lap 50.

Then, on lap 61;

Spongebob: Uh, Patrick? Our engine's gone up in smoke.

Patrick: Oh rats, we've just blown up!

Spongebob: You mean we're out of the race? Oh... crabby patties!!

As he brakes into turn 3, Spongebob SquarePants's #78 Furniture Row Chevrolet suddenly blows its engine, sending plumes of smoke and torrents of oil out the back end, and forcing the caution flag to be brought out as he limps his crippled racecar into the pits and into the garage, retiring from the race.

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
2. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
3. Frylock (#15)
4. Bender (#22)
5. Beavis (#27)
6. Eddy (#88)
7. Homer Simpson (#83)
8. Nigel Uno (#1)
9. Danny Phantom (#16)
10. Edd (#48)

The race restarts on lap 65; Hoagie Gilligan spins his tires right as the green flag waves, allowing Tommy Pickles to pull on ahead and take the lead.

Tommy: Alright, we're on our way now!

Chuckie: Keep it up, Tommy!

Homer Simpson makes it up to the top 5 on lap 79.

Homer: WOO-HOO!

Milhouse: Nice drivin', Mr. S!

Homer: Ugh... You know, Marge, I almost wish we hadn't made the Chase; at least then I wouldn't have this four-eyed brat yappin' at me from the spotter's stand.

Milhouse: I heard that!!

Then on lap 92, Nigel Uno falls out of the top 10.

On lap 106;

Danny: My Ghost Sense is tingling.

Sam: Dammit, Danny, I thought we were over this! There is no ghost in Grim's car!

Earnhardt: He senses me. Grim! Get me away from this guy!

Grim: 10-4.

Grim then blows by Danny on lap 113 to take 10th place, gaining ground on him afterwards so as to get out of range.

Then, on lap 121;

Kuki: Have some of THIS...!

(slam)

Willie: Agh! That Oriental BITCH!!

Going through turn 4, Kuki Sanban rams the left-rear of Groundskeeper Willie's #14 Bass Pro Shops Chevrolet, sending him sliding out of control and slamming right into the end of the pit wall with such force that the front end of his car is literally split in half, sending shrapnel spewing out from both sides, causing nearby pit crews to hit the dirt. Luckily, no one is hurt. Nonetheless the caution flag flies as track crews and a tow truck are dispatched to the wreckage, signifying the end of Willie's race day.

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
3. Frylock (#15)
4. Bender (#30)
5. Homer Simpson (#83)
6. Beavis (#27)
7. Eddy (#88)
8. Edd (#48)
9. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
10. Grim (#40)

The race is restarted on lap 126.

Bender drops out of the top 5 on lap 135.

By lap 142, Homer Simpson has made it up to 3rd place. He then passes by Hoagie Gilligan on lap 148 to grab the 2nd place spot.

Homer: WOO-HOO!

And by lap 153, Homer has made it right up to the rear bumper of Tommy Pickles's #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford.

Tommy: (sarcastic) Oh... great!

Dil: Don't sweat it, T. This guy's fat.

But then, on lap 161, Tommy ends up incredibly loose going into turn 1, almost spinning out. He only just manages to save it, and this slip-up allows Homer to blow by and take the lead away.

Tommy: D'OH!

Chuckie: Um, Homer could sue you for that, Tommy.

Tommy: No he can't, Chuckie! You can't copyright a catchphrase...

Meanwhile, on lap 174, Grim makes it up to the top 5.

Then, on lap 185;

Kuki: Eat THIS...!

…

Rainbow Dash: Oh, you gotta be freaking KIDDING me! One-upped by a little girl... UGH!!!

In between turns 1 & 2, Kuki Sanban roughly clips the left-rear fender of Rainbow Dash's #20 Husky Tools Toyota, sending her hard into the outside wall face-first. The front end of her car is smashed in, leaving her unable to continue the race as the caution flag comes out, and the track crews are deployed to the scene...

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Homer Simpson (#83)
2. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
4. Frylock (#15)
5. Grim (#40)
6. Edd (#48)
7. Bender (#30)
8. Beavis (#27)
9. Eddy (#88)
10. Abigail Lincoln (#5)

The restart occurs on lap 190.

On lap 196, Tommy Pickles once again gets loose in turn 1. While he doesn't get as close to spinning out this time as he did last time, it's still enough to allow his teammate Hoagie Gilligan to move past him and back up into 2nd place, dropping Tommy back to 3rd.

Tommy: (sigh) How many more freaking times are we gonna mess that turn up?!?

Chuckie: Uh, well we still have over 100 laps to go, Tommy.

Dil: Yeah, you'll get 'em yet, T!

Meanwhile, on lap 210, Edd moves up into the top 5.

Grim then blows by Tommy Pickles for 3rd place on lap 219. He then makes it past Hoagie Gilligan for 2nd on lap 230.

Mandy: Alright, bonehead, you only have about 70 laps to catch Fatass up there, so make 'em count!

Grim: I know that, Mandy! Oi...

Earnhardt: Don't ya ever get tired of her pussywhippin' ya all the time?

Grim: Oh, shut up, Dale!

On lap 238, Beavis falls out of the top 10.

Then, on lap 247;

Wally: Aw crud, the engine's shot! There goes our race day.

Fanny: Kinda like your chances with Kuki.

Wally: Asshole...!

The engine of Wally Beatles's #4 Budwesier Chevrolet suddenly blows up as he accelerates out of turn 2. The caution flag is flown as smoke billows and oil leaks from Wally's crippled racing vehicle as he coasts it into the pits and garage, forced to drop out of the race.

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Homer Simpson (#83)
2. Grim (#40)
3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
4. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
5. Edd (#48)
6. Frylock (#15)
7. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
8. Eddy (#88)
9. Bender (#30)
10. Nigel Uno (#1)

The restart is done on lap 251. Grim spins his tires at the waving of the green flag; Hoagie, Tommy and Edd all swing by him, dropping Grim back to 5th place.

Grim: Great, mon, we're never gonna win this race now!

Earnhardt: At least hold on for a top 5, then. We need all the points we can get in this Chase.

Grim: Roger that, mon.

Bender bails out of the top 10 on lap 265.

On lap 278, Tommy Pickles makes it back up to 2nd place.

Tommy: And we only got 23 laps to catch Fatass up there...!

Meanwhile, on lap 290, Frylock falls out of the top 10.

The white flag flies on lap 300... and Tommy is still around 0.75 seconds behind Homer Simpson; still not within striking distance.

Tommy: Crash, crash, CRASH!!

But said crash doesn't occur. By the time they exit turn 4, it is too late; the checkered flag flies, and Homer Simpson wins the Sylvania 300.

Homer: WOO-HOO!!

Marge: I'm proud of you, Homey! (blows kiss)

Milhouse: Awesome win, Mr. S!

Homer: No thanks to you, Four-Eyes!

And so, as all the other cars fall back into the garage area, stricken with defeat, Homer Simpson parks his #83 Burger King Toyota in Victory Lane. The confetti starts flying as soon as he leaves his car; but before he can climb up onto the roof, his wife and crew chief Marge Simpson grabs a hold of him and promptly plants him a hard, passionate kiss on the lips...

Sylvania 300 race results;

1. Homer Simpson (#83)
2. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
4. Edd (#48)
5. Grim (#40)
6. Eddy (#88)
7. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
8. Nigel Uno (#1)
9. Danny Phantom (#16)
10. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
11. Frylock (#15)
12. Bender (#30)
13. Beavis (#27)
14. Peter Griffin (#23)
15. Ed (#24)
16. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3)
17. Phineas Flynn (#43)
18. Ben Tennyson (#10)
19. Timmy Turner (#17)
20. Applejack (#18)
21. Kenny McCormick (#41) (1 lap down)
22. Dudley Puppy (#99) (1 lap down)
23. Twilight Sparkle (#11) (1 lap down)
24. Ferb Fletcher (#9) (1 lap down)
25. Daria Morgendorffer (#31) (1 lap down)
26. Master Shake (#55) (1 lap down)
27. Sokka (#38) (2 laps down)
28. Jake Long (#13) (2 laps down)
29. Kim Possible (#51) (2 laps down)
30. Aang (#35) (2 laps down)
31. Katara (#34) (2 laps down)
32. Early Cuyler (#77) (3 laps down)
33. Meatwad (#66) (3 laps down)
34. Hank Hill (#98) (3 laps down)
35. Francine Smith (#36) (3 laps down)
36. The Warden (#32) (4 laps down)
37. Stan Smith (#7) (4 laps down)
38. Fry [R] (#26) (4 laps down)
39. William Murderface (#47) (5 laps down)
40. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4) (DNF; engine)
41. Rainbow Dash (#20) (DNF; accident)
42. Groundskeeper Willie (#14) (DNF; accident)
43. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; engine)

Point standings after 28 of 36 races;

(* - denotes Chase contender)

1. Homer Simpson (#83)*; 2,086 points
2. Grim (#40)*; 2,080 points
3. Edd (#48)*; 2,079 points
4. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)*; 2,076 points
5. Abigail Lincoln (#5)*/Ahsoka Tano (#42)*; 2,074 points
7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)*; 2,073 points
8. Eddy (#88)*/Nigel Uno (#1)*/Danny Phantom (#16)*; 2,070 points
11. Frylock (#15)*; 2,063 points
12. Bender (#30)*; 2,061 points
13. Beavis (#27)*; 2,060 points
14. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4)*; 2,051 points
15. Groundskeeper Willie (#14)*; 2,045 points
16. Rainbow Dash (#20)*; 2,042 points
17. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3); 753 points
18. Ed (#27); 749 points
19. Peter Griffin (#23); 735 points
20. Daria Morgendorffer (#31); 734 points
21. Master Shake (#55); 729 points
22. Ben Tennyson (#10)/Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 728 points
24. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Timmy Turner (#17); 727 points
26. Twilight Sparkle (#11); 724 points
27. Dudley Puppy (#99); 723 points
28. Ferb Fletcher (#9); 713 points
29. Applejack (#18); 700 points
30. Kenny McCormick (#41); 688 points
31. Eric Cartman (#14); 434 points
32. William Murderface (#47); 431 points
33. Fry [R] (#26); 393 points
34. Stan Smith (#7); 386 points
35. The Warden (#32); 371 points
36. Francine Smith (#36); 365 points
37. Hank Hill (#98); 358 points
38. Meatwad (#66); 356 points
39. Early Cuyler (#77); 353 points
40. Katara (#38); 341 points
41. Aang (#34); 337 points
42. Kim Possible (#51); 322 points
43. Jake Long (#13); 312 points
44. Sokka (#35); 310 points
45. Angelica Pickles (#22); 123 points

Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;

1. Tommy Pickles (#22); 330 points
2. Wallabee Beatles (#4); 324 points
3. Kuki Sanban (#3); 299 points
4. Fry (#26); 234 points

Next race; AAA 400 at Dover International Speedway.