NCCS 3: Toyota Save/Mart 350

It's our first road course of the season - the first time this season the cars will be turning right; Sonoma Raceway! Here's how this 1.99-mile long track is laid out; after crossing the start/finish line, the cars go through turn 1, which is a sweeping uphill left-hander. This leads to turn 2, which is a sharp right-hander. A short straightaway leads to turn 3, which is an uphill left-right S-turn. A short downhill straight leads to a hard right turn 4. After that is another short straight known as The Chute bypasses turns 5 & 6 leading to turn 7, another hard right. This leads to a couple of shallow left-hand kinks, followed by a right-hand kink which leads into turn 8, a sweeping left-right S-turn. This leads to the long sweeping left-hand turn 9, which goes straight into the intermediate right-hand turn 10. One more straightaway goes past the pit entrance before going into a very sharp right-hand hairpin turn known as the "keyhole (turn 11)." This leads to the pit straight, which features a left-hand kink (turn 12) before coming back at the start/finish line and completing a lap.

This race, the Toyota Save/Mart 350, will be run over 110 laps, for a total distance of 352.3 kilometers (218.9 miles).

1. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
2. Eddy (#88)
3. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
4. Dudley Puppy (#99)
5. Eric Cartman (#14)
6. Rainbow Dash (#20)
7. Kenny McCormick (#41)
8. Twilight Sparkle (#11)
9. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
10. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
11. Phineas Flynn (#43)
12. Beavis (#27)
13. Applejack (#18)
14. Ferb Fletcher (#9)
15. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4)
16. Frylock (#15)
17. Spongebob SquarePants (#78)
18. Master Shake (#55)
19. Nigel Uno (#1)
20. Edd (#48)
21. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3)
22. Danny Phantom (#16)
23. Ed (#27)
24. Timmy Turner (#17)
25. Peter Griffin (#23)
26. Ben Tennyson (#10)
27. Daria Morgendorffer (#31)
28. Homer Simpson (#83)
29. Fry [R] (#26)
30. Bender (#30)
31. Meatwad (#66)
32. Early Cuyler (#77)
33. Francine Smith (#36)
34. Stan Smith (#7)
35. William Murderface (#47)
36. Hank Hill (#98)
37. The Warden (#32)
38. Sokka (#35)
39. Grim (#40)
40. Katara (#38)
41. Jake Long (#13)
42. Aang (#34)
43. Kim Possible (#51)

So, as the green flag flies, and the cars accelerate full throttle into the first left-hand bend, Eddy somehow gets off the line better than Abigail Lincoln does, and is easily ahead by a couple of car lengths heading out of turn 2. By the end of the first lap, he has a solid 1.25-second gap on the rest of the pack.

Eddy: Looks like another great run for us, eh guys?

Rolf: (sigh) Your arrogance blinds you, shorter-than-Verne-Troyer Ed-boy.

Eddy: Oh, whatever!

On lap 6, meanwhile, Ahsoka Tano beats Abigail Lincoln into the keyhole turn to move up to 2nd place.

Brimstone: Very good, Ahsoka. You still have over a second of time to make up to catch Eddy, though.

Ahsoka: Eh, nothing I can't handle, guys!

Hellfire: Roger that!

Rainbow Dash makes it up to the top 5 on lap 13, passing Eric Cartman to do so.

Rainbow Dash: Respect my authoritah, my flank, heh heh!

By lap 19, Ahsoka Tano has closed to within half-a-second of Eddy.

Eddy: Is it me, or is that Jedi running me down? Man, it's times like this I wish I was the Dark Lord of the Sith!

Then on lap 24, with Ahsoka right on his back bumper, Eddy hits the brakes late going into The Chute, and thus swerves way wide into the outside runoff area, not only allowing Ahsoka to take the lead, but for Abigail Lincoln and Rainbow Dash to move up to 2nd and 3rd, as well.

Rolf: Arrogant now, Ed-boy...?

On lap 28;

Grim: Crap, we just lost another engine, mon!

Mandy: We're gonna need to something about these stupid engines at some point... (facepalm)

While wheeling through turn 9, Grim's #40 Little Joe's Autos Chevrolet suddenly has its engine erupt into smoke and die in an unexpected instant. As the smoke and oil billow and leak out the back, all Grim is pound his fist on the steering wheel as his car limps onto pit road and into the garage to end his race, which has just come under caution due to the leaked oil on the racing surface.

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
2. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
3. Rainbow Dash (#20)
4. Eddy (#88)
5. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22)
6. Eric Cartman (#14)
7. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
8. Phineas Flynn (#43)
9. Twilight Sparkle (#11)
10. Dudley Puppy (#99)

The race restarts on lap 30, with Ahsoka Tano getting a big jump on Abigail Lincoln; enough for Rainbow Dash to latch onto Ahsoka's bumper to propel herself past Abby as well, to claim 2nd place.

Rainbow Dash: Why do we STILL end up running side-by-side after we made peace last season? It makes no sense!

Fluttershy: Um... you're not gonna try to fight her again, are you?

Rainbow Dash: Well, I'll fight her for the lead, but I'm not actually gonna attack her, no. I'm just sayin'.

By lap 35, Tommy Pickles has made it up to 3rd place, and around that same time, Eric Cartman moves back up into the top 5.

Cartman: Alright, where is that Jew?

Kyle: Uh, right here, dude.

Cartman: NOT YOU, DUMBASS! THE KIKE IN THE #22 CAR!!!

Butters: Oh, he's in 3rd.

Cartman: Fuck...!

Ahsoka Tano then has a slip-up on lap 42, braking too late going into The Chute and going wide and into the runoff area. This allows Rainbow Dash to sneak on ahead into the lead.

Rainbow Dash: Ah, it feels good to be in first place!

Fluttershy: Yay.

Her teammate, Twilight Sparkle, falls out of the top 10 on lap 48.

On lap 53, Eric Cartman is up to 4th place, and is right on Tommy Pickles's rear bumper by lap 57. Then, on that same lap, he gets right up alongside Tommy as they head towards the keyhole turn...

Cartman: Take THIS, you fuckin' kike!!!

...and promptly shoves Tommy's car right towards the end of the pit wall, into which he runs head-on, crumpling up the front end of his #22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford to the point where the car will no longer drive. Thus, the caution comes out, and track crews are dispatched to clean up the wreckage.

Tommy: I'm seriously gonna murder that fatass someday...!

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Rainbow Dash (#20)
2. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
3. Eric Cartman (#14)
4. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
5. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
6. Eddy (#88)
7. Dudley Puppy (#99)
8. Beavis (#27)
9. Phineas Flynn (#43)
10. Ferb Fletcher (#9)

The race is restarted on lap 60, with Eric Cartman falling back out of the top 5 before they even get to turn 2.

Cartman: FUUUCK!!!

By lap 67, Hoagie Gilligan and Abigail Lincoln have both caught up to the rear bumpers of Ahsoka Tano and Rainbow Dash; already ancy from their battle for the lead, now Ahsoka and Rainbow have even more problems.

Rainbow Dash: Actually, if they give her a hard time, I might be able to get away...!

But as it would so happen, both Hoagie and Abby get by Ahsoka heading through turns 3 & 4 on lap 71.

Scootaloo: Uh, the #2 and #5 just blew by Ahsoka.

Rainbow Dash: CRAP! Now they're gonna gang up on me...!

Meanwhile, on lap 77, Beavis falls out of the top 10.

Then on lap 81, Rainbow Dash is suddenly surprise-attacked, so to speak, as they exit turn 10; without warning, Hoagie Gilligan and Abigail Lincoln suddenly slingshot off of her from both sides, blowing by her to take 1st and 2nd places and pushing her back down to 3rd.

Rainbow Dash: URRGH!!

Abigail: Ooh yeah, baby!

Hoagie: That was... kinda easy.

On lap 85;

Spongebob: Rats, I think the engine's just given up on us, Patrick!

Patrick: I hate it when it does that!

Spongebob SquarePants's #8 Furniture Row Chevrolet then has its engine give out and blow up on him as they exit turn 4. He is forced to stop in the outer runoff area across from The Chute; the caution flag then flies to clean up the oil from the track as Spongebob's car is towed back into the garage and out of the race.

Top 10 after pit stops;

1. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
2. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
3. Rainbow Dash (#20)
4. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
5. Eric Cartman (#14)
6. Eddy (#88)
7. Phineas Flynn (#43)
8. Ferb Fletcher (#9)
9. Dudley Puppy (#99)
10. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4)

The race restarts on lap 88.

By lap 93, Eric Cartman has made it up to 3rd.

Cartman: Once I win this race, all these fuckwads will HAVE to respect my authoritah, heh heh heh!!

Back up front, on lap 97, Abigail Lincoln gets by her boyfriend Hoagie to take the lead.

Abigail: Don't worry; Numbuh 5 will still let you give her a victory kiss, heh heh!

But then on lap 103, Hoagie Gilligan finds his rearview mirror filled with the #14 car.

Hoagie: Oh, you gotta be freaking kidding me! Not THIS guy!

So while Hoagie swerves around trying to hold off Cartman, Abigail Lincoln soars on ahead...

The white flag flies on lap 110. By now Abigail has what appears to be an insurmountable lead. Further back, as they go through The Chute, Cartman slips inside of Hoagie to steal 2nd place.

Cartman: (flips bird)

But for Cartman, it is too late for a victory; the checkered flag flies with Abigail Lincoln winning the Toyota Save/Mart 350, with Eric Cartman and Hoagie Gilligan settling for 2nd and 3rd, respectively. Ahsoka Tano takes 4th, Rainbow Dash drives it into 5th place, Wally Beatles bags 6th, Eddy is 7th, Phineas Flynn finishes 8th, Dudley Puppy places 9th, and Ferb Fletcher rounds out the top 10.

So with that, Abigail pulls her car into Victory Lane, gets out and celebrates the victory amidst the chanpagne and confetti being sprayed. Then none other than her boyfriend, an exhauted Hoagie Gilligan, arrives in Victory Lane to meet her.

Hoagie: Hey, Abby! (pants) Great race! (pants)

Abby: You too, Hoagie.

Hoagie: If only I'd held off Cartman - then we'd have both won.

Abby: Oh, you! (tongue-kisses Hoagie with passion)

Toyota Save/Mart 350 race results;

1. Abigail Lincoln (#5)
2. Eric Cartman (#14)
3. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2)
4. Ahsoka Tano (#42)
5. Rainbow Dash (#20)
6. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4)
7. Eddy (#88)
8. Phineas Flynn (#43)
9. Dudley Puppy (#99)
10. Ferb Fletcher (#9)
11. Twilight Sparkle (#11)
12. Kenny McCormick (#41)
13. Beavis (#27)
14. Frylock (#15)
15. Edd (#48)
16. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3)
17. Applejack (#18)
18. Master Shake (#55)
19. Danny Phantom (#16)
20. Nigel Uno (#1)
21. Ed (#24)
22. Peter Griffin (#23)
23. Timmy Turner (#17)
24. Daria Morgendorffer (#31)
25. Ben Tennyson (#10)
26. Homer Simpson (#83)
27. Early Cuyler (#77)
28. Meatwad (#66)
29. Fry [R] (#26)
30. Bender (#30)
31. William Murderface (#47)
32. The Warden (#32)
33. Stan Smith (#7)
34. Francine Smith (#36)
35. Hank Hill (#98)
36. Sokka (#38)
37. Jake Long (#13)
38. Katara (#34)
39. Kim Possible (#51)
40. Aang (#35)
41. Spongebob SquarePants (#78) (DNF; engine)
42. Tommy Pickles [R] (#22) (DNF; accident)
43. Grim (#40) (DNF; engine)

Point standings after 16 of 36 races;

1. Wallabee Beatles [R] (#4); 454 points
2. Hoagie P. Gilligan (#2); 452 points
3. Abigail Lincoln (#5); 449 points
4. Kuki Sanban [R] (#3); 448 points
5. Phineas Flynn (#43)/Edd (#48); 446 points
7. Frylock (#15)/Daria Morgendorffer (#31)/Homer Simpson (#83); 443 points
10. Danny Phantom (#16)/Peter Griffin (#23); 442 points
12. Ahsoka Tano (#42)/Master Shake (#55)/Ed (#24); 440 points
15. Beavis (#27)/Nigel Uno (#1); 439 points
17. Rainbow Dash (#20); 438 points
18. Twilight Sparkle (#11)/Timmy Turner (#17)/Ben Tennyson (#10); 437 points
21. Ferb Fletcher (#9); 436 points
22. Applejack (#18); 435 points
23. Eddy (#88); 430 points
24. Dudley Puppy (#99); 429 points
25. Spongebob SquarePants (#78); 416 points
26. Tommy Pickles [R]; 412 points
27. Eric Cartman (#14); 388 points
28. Kenny McCormick (#41); 337 points
29. William Murderface (#47); 258 points
30. Stan Smith (#7); 257 points
31. Fry [R] (#26); 239 points
32. Grim (#40); 238 points
33. Bender (#30); 217 points
34. The Warden (#32); 212 points
35. Hank Hill (#98); 206 points
36. Francine Smith (#36); 204 points
37. Early Cuyler (#77); 198 points
38. Meatwad (#66); 194 points
39. Katara (#38); 191 points
40. Kim Possible (#51)/Aang (#34); 188 points
42. Jake Long (#13); 167 points
43. Sokka (#35); 159 points

Cartoon Rookie of the Year standings;

1. Tommy Pickles (#22); 200 points
2. Wallabee Beatles (#4); 195 points
3. Kuki Sanban (#3); 177 points
4. Fry (#26); 142 points

Next race: Quaker State 400 at Kentucky Speedway.