WLCQ: Week 4 - Osaka vs New Orleans

Week 4 Game of the Week; Osaka Oni vs New Orleans Dark Mark!

Osaka Oni

Chaser: Goku [C] (#54)

Chaser: Bulma (#49)

Chaser: Tenshinhan (#20)

Beater: Piccolo (#73)

Beater: Kuririn (#00)

Keeper: Vegeta (#49)

Seeker: Gohan (#45)

Coach: Kame-Sen'nin

New Orleans Dark Mark

Chaser: Robin [C] (#58)

Chaser: Speedy (#27)

Chaser: Terra (#98)

Beater: Cyborg (#70)

Beater: Raven (#60)

Keeper: Starfire (#85)

Seeker: Beastboy (#89)

Coach: Bumblebee

Tuning to FOX;

(FOX NFL theme)

Michaels: We're in Week 4 of the season, and do we have a superpowered game for you today! We're live from New Orleans, LA, where teams of super-powered humans from both sides of the Pacific have come to wage war, Quidditch style! Thanks for joining us as the Osaka Oni will be squaring off against the New Orleans Dark Mark! Hello again, I'm Al Michaels, with John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger.

Madden: Well all I know for sure is that this game will be one of the wildest we have! Like you said, Al, both of these teams are made up mainly of super-human beings, with a variety of superpowers to boot. And with the things characters have gotten away with thus far this season, just imagine what'll happen here!

Hermione: I'm honestly real worried about what could happen here. Apparently, these guys are all gonna be beating either senseless; what if someone dies?

Ron: You worry too much, Hermione. These are cartoons... they can do ANYTHING! Although, I do wish that Superman was playing for New Orleans. (wink)

Harry: Oh yeah, you're right! Then we'd have Goku vs Superman! (laugh) But seriously, I, for one, would love to see what sort of superhuman abilities these guys use on each other.

Michaels: Well, we're about to find out...

All of the players are lined up into position, hovering above the Quidditch pitch. The Bludgers and Golden Snitch are ready to be released.

Cyborg: Hey Beastboy! You think these Japanese will even stand a chance against us?

Beastboy: No chance in hell! We beat them in World War II, we'll beat 'em here for sure!

Robin: Hey, come on, guys. Don't get too cocky, they may go Super Saiyan on us!

Beastboy: Whatever. We're still gonna win!

The Bludgers and Snitch are then released; they fly off. The referee then picks up the Quaffle, waits a moment, and then tosses it up.

Michaels: Here we go; the Quaffle is up, and we're underway!

Robin: Titans, GO!

As the Quaffle comes up, it is Bulma who catches it for the Osaka Oni. Raven hits a Bludger at her, but it misses, and almost hits Terra. Bulma throws the Quaffle, with it intended for Goku, but Speedy intercepts it.

Speedy: (snickering)

Both Goku and Bulma try to take the Quaffle back; both fail. As Cyborg knocks away an incoming Bludger, Speedy flies to the Osaka goal without further opposition. When he enters the scoring area, he shoots;

Michaels: SAVED by Vegeta!

Speedy: (sigh)

Vegeta: (cackling)

Madden: Vegeta should definitely be greatful for his Saiyan abilities. Watch, he's defending the right goal, but then Speedy shoots all the way over to the left, and he's still able to save it! A phenomal save!

Harry: Also, Speedy doesn't have any "super powers," he just has gadgets.

Ron: Terra, on the other hand...

Vegeta saves the shot, and the Quaffle remains in play. Tenshinhan is the first to get his hands on it. As he starts toward the New Orleans goal, Robin tries to snatch the Quaffle away, but Tenshinhan passes it to Goku before he can get it. Goku then passes it to Bulma as Piccolo knocks a Bludger at Terra, who's chasing Bulma. After this exchange, Bulma is able to make it to the New Orleans goal, and into the scoring area to shoot;

Michaels: Bulma SCORES! Ten points to Osaka!

Bulma: HA! Yes, I got it!

Starfire: Urrgh!

Madden: Bulma just got lucky here. Starfire could've easily used those energy balls she shoots from her hands and saved it, or maybe knocked Bulma off her broom. But for some reason, she just didn't do it.

Hermione: Well, maybe she's actually playing fairly; more so than other players we've seen.

Harry: I... wouldn't be so sure.

Bulma shoots and scores, putting the Osaka Oni up 10-0. Starfire then throws the Quaffle back into play, where it is caught by Terra.

GAME BREAK

This Game Break takes place in Columbus, Ohio, where the Columbus Pixies are hosting the Arizona Phoenixes. The score is tied at 10. Fry has the Quaffle for the Arizona Phoenixes. Cosmo makes a couple of attempts to steal it, but they don't work. Then;

Wanda: Immobulus!

Wanda casts an Immobilizing Charm, freezing Fry in mid-air. Cosmo wrenches the Quaffle from his arm, takes it to the Arizona goal, and scores, putting the Columbus Pixies up 20-10.

BACK TO NEW ORLEANS

As Terra takes the Quaffle, there's a Bludger headed right for her. She can't see it, and no Beaters can reach it in time. So Cyborg intervenes...

Madden: What was THAT?!

Michaels: Cyborg just shot some sort of laser blast and knocked that Bludger clean outta the park!

Hermione: Bloody hell, he could kill someone with that damn thing!

Cyborg: BOO-YAH!

Terra: Hey thanks, Cyborg!

Before the Bludger can hit Terra, Cyborg shoots a laser blast from his weapon arm, hitting the Bludger with such force that it is sent flying out of the Quidditch pitch. Of course, it will return, and soon...

Meanwhile, Terra has passed the Quaffle to Robin. Shortly thereafter, Bulma snatches it away. Speedy tries to take it back for New Orleans, but misses. Kuririn knocks away a Bludger as Bulma makes her way to the New Orleans goal. But before she can shoot...

Bulma: OWW! What the fu-

Michaels: Starfire has just shot some sort of green energy disc and hit Bulma right in the arm, the Quaffle is out, and now New Orleans has it!

Hermione: That's not fair! She could've killed her!

Ron: You said that last time, but no one's gotten hurt.

Harry: Hmmm...

Starfire shoots a green energy disc out of her right hand. It hits Bulma right in the arm that's holding the Quaffle, which she drops as she's hit. As she shakes it off, Terra gets the Quaffle for the New Orleans Dark Mark.

Goku gives chase, but he's forced to break off when Raven hits a Bludger in his direction. After that, Terra is able to make it to the Osaka goal. She shoots...

Michaels: And she SCORES! We're now tied at 10!

Terra: YES!

Beastboy: That was awesome, Terra!

Madden: Vegeta's Saiyan abilities must not've kicked in this time. He was defending the center goal, Terra shoots to the left goal, but he just doesn't get there in time this time.

Terra scores to tie the game at 10. Vegeta then throws the Quaffle back into play, and it is retrieved by Goku.

Then...

Michaels: And it appears that Beastboy is after the Golden Snitch!

Ron: I just wonder what sort of super powers this guy has up his sleeve, heh heh!

Hermione: (sigh)

While the Chasers continue to go at it, Beastboy sets out after the Golden Snitch. After some time of flying after it, he's caught up. But the Snitch eludes him every time he tries to catch it. Then;

Michaels: Look out! Gohan's in the picture, now!

Madden: Yes, but I'm not sure how he'll fare against Beastboy's powers, whatever they are...

Before long, Gohan is also going after the Golden Snitch, and is flying right alongside Beastboy. As soon as that happens, Gohan lashes out at Beastboy with his elbow...

Michaels: We have a penalty whistle on the pitch!

Madden: And it sounded right when Gohan lashed out at Beastboy with his elbow there...

Hermione: It's gonna be Cobbing on Osaka!

Right as Gohan strikes Beastboy with his elbow, the penalty whistle is blown. The action stops as the referee makes the call;

Referee: Cobbing. Osaka, #45. Penalty shot for New Orleans!

Gohan: Oh come on, I hardly even touched that faggot!

Goku: (facepalm)

Gohan is hit with a Cobbing call, and so New Orleans gets a penalty shot, which Robin elects to take. Vegeta will try to defend;

Goku: Vegeta! What does the scouter say about his shooting power?

Vegeta: (gasp) It's over 9,000! (crushes scouter)

Goku: WHAT, 9,000?! There's no way that can be right... can it?

Robin: I think it's right. After all, I am the Boy Wonder...

...

Michaels: He SCORES! New Orleans takes the lead, 20-10.

Robin: Powerful enough for ya?

Starfire: Yes, you got us goal!

Robin scores on the penalty shot, putting the New Orleans Dark Mark into the lead, 20-10.

Vegeta then throws the Quaffle back into play, and Tenshinhan catches it. He makes it past Robin, Speedy and Terra as he heads to the New Orleans goal. Raven, however, sees a Bludger coming between him and her, and seizes the chance;

Raven: Azarath Metrion Zinthos!

...

Madden: HEAD SHOT!

Kame-Sen'nin: TIMEOUT!

Michaels: Tenshinhan is hit right in the head by a Bludger beat by Raven, and Osaka has called timeout!

Hermione: That is just so barbaric! Eject her!

Harry: You think everyone should be ejected.

Hermione: Well, no one's playing fair!

Ron: (shakes head)

Tenshinhan gets hit in the head and knocked off his broom with the Bludger that Raven whacked at him, prompting the Osaka Oni to call timeout. As Tenshinhan gets up, the rest of the team converges to check on him;

Tenshinhan: Don't bother asking, I'm okay.

Kame-Sen'nin: You sure?

Tenshinhan: Yes, I'm fine! Let's just try and finish this game!

Kame-Sen'nin: Very well.

GAME BREAK

This Game Break takes place in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, where the Philadelphia Thestrals are hosting the Chicago Fire Crabs. The score is 40-30, Chicago. Spongebob SquarePants and Wallabee Beetles are both chasing after the Golden Snitch, beating and banging on each other viciously. Then Hoagie P. Gilligan, who's observing this chase, notices a Bludger coming to him. Seizing the chance, he hits the Bludger right towards them, and it knocks Spongebob clean off his broom.

Patrick: (gasp) SPONGEBOB!

Patrick abandons the hoops to check on his friend; however, Plankton hasn't bothered to call timeout. As a result, Kuki Sanban is able to score a free goal, tying the game at 40. Right after that happens, Wallabee Beetles catches the Snitch, thus ending the game. Final score; 190-40, Philadelphia.

BACK TO NEW ORLEANS

The Osaka Oni regain their composure, the timeout is terminated, and the game resumes.

Bulma comes up with the Quaffle, but Speedy steals it away before she can shoot. Then Goku takes it back for Osaka before Speedy can reach the scoring area. This back and forth sequence goes on for a while...

Meanwhile, Gohan and Beastboy are once again chasing after the Golden Snitch, once again beating and banging on each other.

Eventually, Beastboy loses his patience and his cool...

Madden: Oh my... what the f-

Michaels: Don't ask how, but Beastboy's just transformed himself into a Velociraptor!

Hermione: I didn't know an Animagus could turn into a-

All: OH!

Michaels: He's just hit Gohan in the side with one of those sickle claws!

Harry: Don't even say it, Hermione!

Ron: Also, I don't think Beastboy is an Animagus. Or a Metamorphagus...

After having lost his patience and his cool, Beastboy transforms into a Velociraptor. Gohan notices, but keeps trucking on, until Beastboy sinks one of his sickle claws right into Gohan's side. Gohan manages to stay on his broom, but is forced to fall back, groaning and clutching his side in pain.

After that fiasco...

Michaels: And he's got it! Beastboy has caught the Golden Snitch, and the Dark Mark win the game!

Beastboy: WOOOOOO, we fuckin' won! BOO-YAH!

Cyborg: Dude, that's MY catchphrase! Oh, but it's alright, you won us the game!

Terra: Come here, you! (kisses Beastboy multiple times on the cheek)

Beastboy: (giggles)

Beastboy catches the Golden Snitch, and so the New Orleans Dark Mark defeat the Osaka Oni, 170-10.

A wild roar erupts from the New Orleans home crowd as the team celebrates the victory, which includes Beastboy getting multiple kisses from Terra. Meanwhile, as the rest of the Osaka Oni head back to the locker room in shame, Gohan heads to the hospital wing to get his wound treated, accompanied by his father, Goku.

Around the WLCQ;

Arizona Phoenixes - 50; Columbus Pixies - 180

Atlanta Owls - 40; Seattle Vampires; 200

Chicago Fire Crabs - 40; Philadelphia Thestrals - 190

Denver Dementors - 150; Louisville Phantoms - 60

Detroit Unicorns - 60; Nashville Basilisks - 180

Las Vegas Night Elves - 0; Portland Parselmouths - 200

London Chimeras - 160; Toulouse Sphinxes - 50

Los Angeles Undead - 80; New England Griffins - 170

Mexico City Chupacabras - 220; Kyoto Kappa - 40

Miami Goblins - 90; Houston Horcruxes - 220

Milwaukee Death Eaters - 230; Charlotte Hallows - 100

Minnesota Wormtails - 90; Dallas Hippogriffs - 180

Paris Veela - 60; Vancouver Grindylows - 170

Richmond Werewolves - 190; Indiana Slughorns - 30

Rome Fairies - 150; Milan Witchhunters - 90

San Antonio Centaurs - 50; Birmingham War Pigs - 230

St. Louis Serpents - 20; Oklahoma Orcs - 150

Tampa Bay Trolls - 170; Kansas City Inferi - 50

Tokyo Tengu - 20; San Francisco Seers - 160

Toronto Salamanders - 210; Montreal Manticores - 30

Washington Ministry - 70; New York Dragons - 200

League Standings;

American Conference

East Division

New England Griffins (3-1)

Miami Goblins (2-2)

Richmond Werewolves (2-2)

Washington Ministry (2-2)

North Division

Philadelphia Thestrals (3-1)

Columbus Pixies (2-2)

New York Dragons (2-2)

Indiana Slughorns (1-3)

South Division

Birmingham War Pigs (4-0)

Nashville Basilisks (2-2)

Houston Horcurxes (1-3)

Louisville Phantoms (1-3)

West Division

Seattle Vampires (3-1)

San Antonio Centaurs (2-2)

Denver Dementors (1-3)

Los Angeles Undead (0-4)

National Conference

East Division

Dallas Hippogriffs (3-1)

Minnesota Wormtails (2-2)

Oklahoma Orcs (2-2)

St. Louis Serpents (1-3)

North Division

Milwaukee Death Eaters (3-1)

Chicago Fire Crabs (2-2)

Kansas City Inferi (1-3)

Detroit Unicorns (0-4)

South Division

Tampa Bay Trolls (4-0)

New Orleans Dark Mark (3-1)

Atlanta Owls (1-3)

Charlotte Hallows (1-3)

West Division

Portland Parselmouths (4-0)

Arizona Phoenixes (2-2)

San Francisco Seers (2-2)

Las Vegas Night Elves (1-3)

International Conference

Euro Division

Rome Fairies (3-1)

Toulouse Sphinxes (2-2)

London Chimeras (2-2)

Milan Witchhunters (1-3)

Paris Veela (1-3)

Pacific Division

Tokyo Tengu (3-1)

Mexico City Chupacabras (2-2)

Kyoto Kappa (2-2)

Osaka Oni (2-2)

Toronto Salamanders (2-2)

Montreal Manticores (1-3)

Vancouver Grindylows (1-3)

Michaels: This is Al Michaels, John Madden, Harry Potter, Ron Weaseley and Hermione Granger saying so long from New Orleans, and we'll see you all for Week 5!